Perhaps for me blogging is a little slower than most but I truly enjoy reading  the life stories of others. Many are so funny yet others swing toward that other side of the emotional scale. As my last entry stated I'm still battling with major depression and it's affects. I have conquered a lot of the physical problems that go along with this illness and have made excellent strides with the emotional set backs as well. I would never have believed that this illness was so difficult had I never been stricken down and have had to battle back with such determination. Emotionally the hardest thing for me to endure have been the struggles of my family during this time. They all have been so supportive and loving each and everyday, but seeing the worry on my wife's  face for my well being and our overall financial wows and then the concern of my son and not being able to do much about it was awful. Being told that the worst thing I can do is to WORRY puts one in a isolated state of mind if you are not careful. Before this illness took its hold I was growing physically and mentally weaker and weaker over the last year or so. I can remember feeling more and more out of touch with the day to day activities that life requires of you. There are parts of the last few yrs that I don't really remember that well. But my finest hour in the last 2 1/2 yrs or so was when we decided to move from Nevada back to Texas last July. I often felt out of touch in the places we've lived in, ( Fl in 2003 -04 NV in 2004-05). I feel like I belong here, no other place has ever made me feel that way.. This is the best place to recover from any illness I've ever known. This is a place that you can see a Robin or Cardinal close up everyday. Where a squirrel runs from tree to tree trying to get the pecans before they hit the ground. Were if you are lucky you'll see creatures that amaze you crossing the street, like snakes or taranulas. At night you can see the bats or hear an owl while the crickets harmonize us with the music only they can make. I have experienced these same types of wonders while living in other parts of the country, in the Pocono Mts in PA. or near a mountain Lake in Northern NJ, the Oceans, and mountain deserts of Southern California as well as the Ocean front in South Florida. All have their beauty but known give me the comfort that this place does. This is my special place on earth. I often tell people that it took me 2 1/2 years to get back here after we moved in 2003, and indeed it did. But what I missed the most were the people, the kindness and compassion is incredible. I miss my dear friends Taj and Kathy who we left in NV more than they could imagine, there is not a day were I don't think about them but for me getting back was a life saver. Now I hope tha twe can visit and see our other friends like Jennie and Rick and their kids as well as Nelda and her clan. I miss you all. I really truly believe that had I gotten sick in any place other then here in Texas I wouldn't be writing this Blog today, that I would never have been able to recover. If it has not been for the help of my wife's family we would have never made it. I owe them everything and so much more. I'm sadden to say that during my illness my immediate family (mother, father & sublings, etc) and I have not spoken but that's a story for another blog entry perhaps tomorrow, hahaha. During my process I have learned that my illness has been one that started decades ago in childhood and has grown and grown without my complete knowledge until now. This illness has been life changing and if anyone doubts the effectives of major depression or depression in general please check out www.webmd.com and you'll be amazed as you read on.  Have a great day.